I am So Grateful For the Sceptic in Me

so that tech bros turned gurus can't steal my money and my sanity

I am very happy I didn’t grow up with any religious belief shoved down my throat. I was free to take an atheist stance, which I did with gusto.

I feel very blessed that I’m naturally skeptic, especially towards outrageous claims.

SOME DISCLAIMERS

I’ve never seen any of my past lives.

I don’t believe yoga asana will get you enlightened.

I don’t think drinking Ayahuasca/taking ‘shrooms/LSD is going to solve anyone’s problems.

I’m very skeptical of Astrology, and mildly interested.

I’m skeptical of The Enneagram, and extremely interested.

I’m very skeptical of Human Design, and not interested.

I’m skeptical of the ADHD diagnosis, AND I’ve diagnosed myself with it.

I’m skeptical of any offering that has ‘transformation’ in the title or description.

I’m VERY skeptical of Reiki, despite sometimes giving it.

I’m very skeptical of people who call themselves ‘spiritual.’

I’m very skeptical of people who call themselves yogis.

I’m very sceptical of people who call themselves yoga teachers.

I’m usually not skeptical of people who call themselves pilates, HIIT or Barre teachers.

I’m dreading McMindfulness.

I’m very skeptical of the notion that emotions are stored in the hips. Or that inversions are bad when you’re on your period.

I’ve never met any ghosts, and I’m agnostic to whether they exist or not.

I’ve never seen angels, and I’m agnostic to whether they exist or not.

Even when friends and family tell me about meetings with spirits/ghosts/angels/past lives I’m skeptical AND (try to be) open-minded, but keep wondering if there could be other explanations.

I’m skeptical of memories (especially my own)

I’m skeptical of other people’s judgements of other people

I’m skeptical of science

I’m skeptical of supplements

I’m skeptical of ONE SIZE FITS ALL

I’m extremely skeptical to whether objective TRUTH really exists

I’m skeptical of coaches. Especially coaches who coach coaches coaching coaches

I’m skeptical of people who have 1000 followers on the ‘gram and call themselves PUBLIC PERSON

I am very skeptical of anyone who uses QUANTUM to sell their stuff

I’m skeptical of the idea that depression could be caused by a chemical imbalance.

I’m skeptical of my own skepticism

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At the age of thirteen I totally agreed with Karl Marx that ‘Religion is like an Opium for the People.’

The only religious people I encountered back then were Christians. My grandmother, for example, belonged to a hardcore strand of protestantism, were everything fun was forbidden, and curtains were ‘Satan’s underwear.’ I guess a good Christian wouldn’t need curtains because they’d have anything to hide (and no need for privacy).

A little later, in the last year of junior high, I became fascinated by both Hinduism and Buddhism, via the religion classes at school. One time, I went to the Hare Krishna temple in Stockholm (little did I know then, that HK isn’t very representative of Hinduism). The vegetarian food was delicious, and the smell of incense intoxicating., but I hated the men in the front, women in the back policy, and what I perceived as idol worship.

A few years later, in 1992 I traveled to India, in search of adventure, magic mushrooms and cute long haired hipster hippie boys to make out with. I’m not sure I’d even heard the word yoga, and if I had, I probably thought a yogi was someone who could sleep on a bed of nails, crush glass with their teeth and swing an iron from their dick.

I spent three months backpacking around the country, and I did bump into a cute long-haired boy, on the run from the Israeli army. We got tangled up in a Nepali fling tangled up with a violent stomach bug (so who knows what those butterflies in the belly were really about …) He was into yoga, and mansplained (before mansplaining had a name) some rudimentary yoga stretches and some breathing exercises. I remember him closing one of his nostrils with one finger and to blow a big slimy booger out the other.

Fast forward to NOW. April 2024. Mallorca, Spain. An island full of people who call themselves ‘spiritual’ and ‘conscious’. An island full of ‘yogis.’

NOW and an internet crammed with QUANTUM HEALING, MANIFESTATION MEDITATIONS, PSYCHIC READINGS and PRODUCTIVITY SCHEMES. All promising to get you what you want.

Forgetting that spirituality is about becoming free from wants.

If you call yourself humble, are you really humble?